So behind....

I'm SO behind in blogging.  It stinks because I feel like I NEVER have time to just sit here and blog.  :(  I have so much to blog about too.  Brock went on his first vacation to the beach and rode in a car for about 14 hours-- that was fun! ;)....  And then I just have a TON of pictures on my camera that I take of him daily, I tried to upload these yesterday but was having some issues with that, we got a new computer and it's not quite like the old one, so I need to sit down and figure that out too.  So much to do and just not enough hours in the day to do it!! I'm hoping this weekend I can FINALLY blog about vacation! Anyways just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still here I'm just struggling to find time to blog. 

*** Scroll down I posted Brocks 3 months post, I have yet to figure out how to get a pic I took from my phone uploaded to this thing!

Happy 3 Months Brock!

** I can't get his 3 month picture to show up for some reason, so I figured I'd go ahead and post this and mess with it some more when I had time. :)

Happy 3 months Brock, I feel like I just posted your 2 month post-- ha Well I sorta did since I've become a horrible blogger.  So much has happened just in that one month span.

What are you up too?

• You go to Tracy's 5 days a week and everytime I pick you up you seem SO content, this makes mommy happy!
• You got baptized on July 29.  We took up about 4 pews at church with family, this made me happy to see everyone there for your baptism. (I hope to post on this itself)
• You don't sleep through the night much at all, must have jinxed myself in that last post, you get up about 3:30 still to nurse, I rely on a dt. dew every morning.  :)
• I made it 13 weeks with exclusive breastfeeding but this past Monday night I had to start supplementing with formula for your evening feedings, I can't keep up with you!!
• You went on your first vacation this month (8/10 to 8/17) to Gulf Shores, AL.  It was a quite stressful trip!- More on that later.
• You have started to use your voice somewhat.
• We moved you up to size 2 diapers this week! :( Makes me sad because you just keep growing too fast!
• We also moved you into your 3-6 & 6 months summer stuff.
• You have found your tongue within the last month and it is SO cute when we see you sticking it out!
• You have a serious gag reflux (that you get from your daddy)! :)
• You had your first ear infection this month, it was actually on your 3 month bday (24th).  Mommy had to take off work and take you to the dr because you were running a temp and your poor little eyes were real watery/irritated.  Come to find out you had a left ear infection.  You were put on your first antibiotic and let me tell ya, it was a struggle each time to get your medicine in you. 

 Happy *3* Months little man, I know I said this at your 2 month post, but SLOW down time, you are growing so FAST!! We do however, look forward to more milestones this next month.  We just love watching you grow!  We love you more than you will every know!!

Happy two months Brock

Brock you are 2 months (a week ago, I'm just now getting this up)!!! How did this happen so fast?! You have changed soooo much. You had your shots Friday and broke mommy's heart.  I have never heard you scream the way you did! :(  You did pretty well all day Friday, slept a lot but for the most part you were yourself and in a pretty good mood.  Here are your 2 month stats:

• Weight: 12 lbs 9 oz (55%)
• Length: 23 1/2 inches (75%)
• Head: 16 cm (90 %)

Dr. Emm said you looked great and told me to keep up the good work! I think he was shocked at how much you had changed.

What are you up too?

• Your personality is really starting to develope more.  You are starting to smile and coo- we love trying to get you to 'talk' to us. 
• I think you may roll over soon, everytime your on your play mat you turn completely around.  I taped you the other night because you were sooo close to turning over. 
• You are sleeping so much better through the night.  Some nights you'll sleep all night other nights you'll get up usually around 3:30 to nurse then you go back to sleep till about 6:45/7ish.
• You let us know when you are hungry, you get a pouty lip and let out the most heartbreaking cry! It makes me sad when you do that.
• You love getting a bath
• I still swaddle you at night because your arms are so spazy, if I don't do this I think you wake yourself up.
• We have a routine at a bedtime and I love that I can lay you in your crib awake and you put yourself to sleep.  I turn your sheep on that makes noise and your turtle that shines stars and the moon on the ceiling and kiss you goodnight and usually within 10/15 minutes you are sound asleep. 
• I haven't napped you in your crib, you like to sleep in your swing for naps and sometimes I will just hold you for naps (yes you are a spoiled little boy) :)
• You aren't as fussy as you use to be, I'm so glad we are seeing less of those days!
• You had me worried this week as you hadn't pooped for a few days, but I learned that it is completely normal for bf babies! :)

Brock we love you soooo much!! You bring so much joy and happiness to not only Mommy and Daddy's lifes but others as well.  You are definately not shorted of being loved! :)  You are getting so big and while I'm excited for other milestones I'm trying to soak up every minute of holding and cuddling you as I know this won't last forever.

Changes

I went back to work this past Monday and well I survived.  It was by far the hardest thing I had to do.  I did A LOT of crying that morning I don't even know why I put makeup on.  I looked awful and I didn't even care.  I was miserable that first day sick to my stomach and just not in my 'comfort' zone I had been in with my baby for the last eight weeks.  I think it made it easier that my mom came to my house, I will get the real test this Monday when he goes to the sitter of loading the car up! I had just three bags of stuff myself! One of the security guards at work said to me one morning as I was putting my bags up to be checked 'Are you moving in Erin'-- Somedays I feel like it, I lug my purse, lunch and breast pump in e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y, it gets old!
Back to my morning leading up to leaving.  Brock must of known I was going back to work, he slept all through the night, it was the second time he did that.  He woke up about 5:30/5:45 I got him out of bed and fed him and cried and cried.  I cried as I was getting bottles ready. Michael had put him in his swing before he left as I was in the bathroom getting ready.  I figured I'd get ready and then go love on him before I had to leave.  I came out of the bathroom and peeked into the living room only to find him fast asleep in his swing.  I LOST IT! I couldn't stop crying like worked up crying.  It just killed me seeing him sleeping in his swing being such a good boy while I got ready.  My mom came over and I went through everything with her, loaded my stuff in the truck and came back in to tell him bye.  I started crying again, she gave me a hug and I just told her love on him like I would. :)
I cried somemore in the truck and told myself I needed to pull myself together.  I did and I only cried once at work on my lunch hour.  Tuesday was a little better and Wednesday was a little better than Tuesday.  I think it helped me this week knowing that Friday (yest.) I was only working till 10 because he had his 2 month check-up and I would be spending my afternoon with my baby. So all of you that had told me that it would get easier you were right, but I still hope I can go to part-time. :)

One Week....

That's what I have left until I have to go back to work, this is my last Monday off with my little guy.  How do I feel about this? Honestly, I'm a MESS!!! I can't even stomach the thought of not being with him 24/7.  I may need meds to calm my anxiety.  I never imagined it would be this hard or I would be this bad. I pray all the time that I will beable to go part time and as of right now that prayer has yet to be answered, but I'm not giving up on it.  The sitter is gone next week so my Mom and Sister are going to watch Brock so I will not have just one Monday of crying all the way to work but two. I'm crying while typing this with one hand and holding Brock with the other while he sleeps--- this is what I'll miss.  I know my husband thinks I'm a nut job because I'll just have a break down in the middle of no where.  I just tell him he doesn't understand, I've carried him for 9 months been off for 2, he's been with me for almost a year and now I get to see him in the evenings, a little bit in the morning and on the weekends- It's not fair!!  So this week he will be one extra spoiled little boy
(not that he hasn't been already). :) 

I'll miss these sweet little yawns



He is my LIFE!  :)

I hope the week goes by S-L-O-W!!

Happy One Month Brock

Happy One month to our Little Guy!! Seriously where does the time go!??

I took Brock to a pediatrician on Friday to figure out this projectile throwing up/ tummy pains.  We started him on zantac and that didn't seem to be doing the trick so the pediatrician switched him to prevacid.  He has been on that for a few days now and seems to be doing okay with it.  I felt so bad giving him the zantac it smelled like mouth wash, I couldn't imagine trying to swallow that!  The prevacid smells like orange, so much better.   He weighed in at 10 lbs and 22 3/4 inches long, he's not my little baby anymore :(! I can't believe how much he has changed just in this first month. 

What are you up to?

You are staying more alert just over the past few days.  You've started to fight your sleep, I will rock you or we pat your butt and you'll be asleep but the second we set you down you wake up!  Last night you did this and I layed you on the couch you fussed around for a little bit and fell asleep on your own! :)  You still sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room - I don't plan to move you just yet!  You grunt a LOT, especially when your sleeping and oh say about 3 or 4 in the morning it wakes us up and is hard for us to get any good sleep after that.  You've had some longer stretches through the night on eating, you were waking every 2 hours and for a few nights you wanted to eat every hour and a half- that was EXHAUSTING!  You don't have a set schedule, every night is different and I just pray that you are able to go at least 3 hours in between feedings at least for one of them.  :)  Daddy got to experience what its like when you don't get food ASAP last night while I ran to the store.  He called me just as I was getting into town so needless to say I wasn't able to take a longer way home just to enjoy time to myself.  He said you chugged 2 oz and he went to heat up more and your kicked the bag of milk and it dumped in the sink (you wouldn't let him set you down long enough to heat it). I think you just needed a good burp!

I can't imagine life without you Brock and look forward to the milestones month 2 will bring us! You truely are my life and I feel so akward when I don't have you near me! :) We have a wedding in a few weeks and I'm not looking forward to leaving you even though it will only be for a couple of hours!

39 Week Appointment that turned in to a Birthday!

On Weds. (5/23) I went in for what would be my last appointment.  Michael was off that afternoon so he decided to go with me to it.  I had thought to myself that morning about putting the carseat in the car and grabbing our bags but I decided not to because I figure I would just jinx myself.  We had a U/S to check baby's size and my fluid level.  Everything looked good. 

We were then taken to the room to meet with the Deb.  She came in and checked me and I was dilated to a 2.5/3.  We talked for a bit and then we got on the topic about induction.  She looked at us and asked us if we wanted to head over to the hospital right then.  Uhmm, WHAT?  I looked at Michael thinking oh shit, this is it! We discussed it more and decided we would go in that night at 7 to be induced. 

I called into work letting them know that my maternity leave would start 2 days earlier than I had planned on it. And then we made one quick stop before we headed home to pick up the house a bit, get our bags and the carseat.  It was the fastest 3 hours of my life from the time we got home to the time I was sitting in the hospital bed.

We headed down and decided that we would only tell our parents that I was being induced.  Michael didn't want a bunch of people knowing so that is what we decided to do. 

Once we arrived I took one last belly picture and put on the gown and got into the bed so they could hook me up to a monitor for a while.  They started pitocin about an hour or so after I had been there.  From about 9:30 on that night I was in so much pain.  My contractions were coming every minute and a half leaving me no time to catch a break from them.  I could tell Michael felt so helpless as I laid in bed practically crying because they were so bad.  Finally at 11:30 the nurse gave me some pain meds.  I was able to get about 2 hours of sleep before they wore off at 1:30. They ended up turning off the pitocin around then too because I was contracting on my own. 

Finally at 3:30 they called for the epidural (the nurse wouldn't call until I reached a 4).  After the epidural I was finally able to get some sleep minus the nurses coming in and checking on me and the machine for my blood pressure/ babies heartrate going off.

Finally around 10:30 Thursday morning (5/24) Dr. Gratkins showed up and broke my water and they decided to turn the pitocin back on.  After they turned the pitocin back on I could slightly feel a little bit of the cramping but nothing that I couldn't handle.  The nurse came back in close to noon to check me and I was FINALLY at a 10!!

I started pushing around 12 and they called Dr. Gratkins to let him that we would be having a baby soon.  I pushed for 50 minutes and Brock was finally here!! I about wanted to give up I was so tired from pushing and just felt like I was getting no where.  I must say it was the most amazing thing when I was able to pull my baby out and place him upon my chest. (I realize this may gross some of you out).  I will NEVER forget that moment. 

Brock David Friedman
7 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches
12:50 pm
5/24/12

After being at home and having a vaginal delivery I sometimes think that maybe having a c-section is easier.  I didn't realize how sore I would be and how such a small task such as going to the bathroom could be so painful at times!  But then as soon as I look at Brock I'm reminded that everything I went through that night/day was so worth it. 

We are soooo in love with our little guy, he is absolutely perfect!  I love just holding him and watching him sleep, there is simply nothing sweeter.  I still can't believe he is mine somedays! :) I am SO blessed to be his Mommy!

Our little man

Things have been busy around here.  I seem to never put make-up on or do anything with my hair other than putting it in a pony tail.  But thats okay, I'm trying to enjoy every single minute with my little guy.  I find myself holding him probably way too much for his own good but I don't care he will only be little for so long so I'm going to soak up every second I can.  If he turns out rotten because of it we'll fix it when we get to that point. 
I had my first 'big' crying/sobbing break down last night.  I was holding him just starring at him while he was asleep in my arms and the tears just starting rolling down my face.  Michael got outta the shower and I just went into a full on balling session telling him how I can't leave him and how I don't want to go back to work.  I pray every night that something happens so I can stay home.  Michael asked me why I was thinking about it now since I still have 3 weeks left with him.  My answer was I kno that its coming and its giving me anxiety thinking about it. I'm starting to tear up just typing this out.  I mean look at this face....