Changes

I went back to work this past Monday and well I survived.  It was by far the hardest thing I had to do.  I did A LOT of crying that morning I don't even know why I put makeup on.  I looked awful and I didn't even care.  I was miserable that first day sick to my stomach and just not in my 'comfort' zone I had been in with my baby for the last eight weeks.  I think it made it easier that my mom came to my house, I will get the real test this Monday when he goes to the sitter of loading the car up! I had just three bags of stuff myself! One of the security guards at work said to me one morning as I was putting my bags up to be checked 'Are you moving in Erin'-- Somedays I feel like it, I lug my purse, lunch and breast pump in e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y, it gets old!
Back to my morning leading up to leaving.  Brock must of known I was going back to work, he slept all through the night, it was the second time he did that.  He woke up about 5:30/5:45 I got him out of bed and fed him and cried and cried.  I cried as I was getting bottles ready. Michael had put him in his swing before he left as I was in the bathroom getting ready.  I figured I'd get ready and then go love on him before I had to leave.  I came out of the bathroom and peeked into the living room only to find him fast asleep in his swing.  I LOST IT! I couldn't stop crying like worked up crying.  It just killed me seeing him sleeping in his swing being such a good boy while I got ready.  My mom came over and I went through everything with her, loaded my stuff in the truck and came back in to tell him bye.  I started crying again, she gave me a hug and I just told her love on him like I would. :)
I cried somemore in the truck and told myself I needed to pull myself together.  I did and I only cried once at work on my lunch hour.  Tuesday was a little better and Wednesday was a little better than Tuesday.  I think it helped me this week knowing that Friday (yest.) I was only working till 10 because he had his 2 month check-up and I would be spending my afternoon with my baby. So all of you that had told me that it would get easier you were right, but I still hope I can go to part-time. :)